Today while going about my daily business with my little Rosebushes I overheard a conversation that warmed my heart and made me cry at the same time. Today Emma's BFF Macie came home from school with us. The girls played for awhile at the house and then decided they wanted to go to Orange Leaf. They had been good so I agreed to take them along with Jaxon. As I drove the girls sat in the backseat and chattered. They have the funniest conversations. Today was the best one I've ever heard. I only picked up part of the conversation so I don't know how it started but this is where I really started listening:
Macie: "I'm gonna meet Jesus one day."
Emma: "Me too, but we have to get to heaven first. "
Macie: "Yeah, I wonder what it looks like there? "
Emma: "I don't know but I can't wait to get there and see my sister again. I miss her."
Macie: "Oh that would be awesome. Can I meet her too?"
Emma: "Ummmm....Yeah....you're my best friend and she'd love you. She didn't walk or talk here, but mom says she can in heaven. I really want to see that. I bet she likes walking and probably dancing. I really miss her. Sometimes I forget what she looks like and I get sad"
Macie: "She could play with us and that would be fun. If she likes to dance we could all dance....In princess dresses. "
Emma: "I hope she remembers me. I was littler when she died so I probably look different. I'll have to introduce Jax because she never met him."
Macie: "He's kind of crazy I hope she likes him. "
Emma: "She probably won't but he is her brother so she'll have to. Maybe he'll be better in heaven."
Unfortunately we arrived at Orange Leaf and the conversation ended. Luckily I had on sunglasses and neither girl could see the tears in my eyes. I really wanted to hear more because it was a conversation filled with such innocence and hope. Emma rarely talks to me about Maddie and I often wonder exactly how much she remembers about her. I've wondered if she would remember her at all as she grew up. I think today's conversation cleared some of that up for me. Emma will always remember she has a sister. The memories of her sister will likely always be trapped in a three year old state because that's how old she was when Maddie died. At just 5 years old I think Emma understand life, death, and heaven better than most adults. I love that she shares these little snippets about her sister with her friends. It's good to hear her talk about Maddie and even better to hear that she obviously talks so frequently about Maddie to her friends that they feel like they know her too.
I needed that conversation today for so many reasons. It meant a lot to me. I didn't mention the conversation to Emma because secretly I hope to catch more conversations like that in the future.