So Thankful

This weekend was the Walk for Wishes to raise money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.   Our family has participated in this event every year but one.  It was just too much to handle the summer after Maddie died so we sat that one out.   Now the walk has become sort of therapeutic for me.  It allows me to remember one of the best times that we ever had as a family with Maddie and tell our story to others.  I miss her so much! The walk allows me to do something good for others in her memory.  This year I set a goal to raise $5,000 as a team.  That amount seemed crazy when I started but it gave me something to work toward.  I spent the last 4 months bombarding my friends Facebook feeds with messages about Make-A-Wish.  I basically became a beggar, and for that I apologize.   I turned my friends and family into beggars, again I apologize. I went for months with little to no donations happening but a few weeks ago something amazing happened.    Donations started to pour in.  People I haven't spoken to outside of Facebook in years made donations.   I even had donations from strangers and friends of friends.  My team received donations from a friends I went to middle school with in another state.  There were donations from a fellow cheerleader from high school,  a coworker from a job I had in high school,  college friends, family, and even Maddie's former teacher.  I was overwhelmed at the generosity of people.    We had people sign up to walk with us from Indiana and Ohio.  One of our team members got her husband and two girls up extra early on a Saturday,  drove an hour and fifteen minutes to Louisville, and was there to walk with us at 9:00AM.   Did I mention that I'd never met her before?  She used to work with Fred and was so inspired by Maddie that she felt like she had to help us.  My best friend brought her family three hours south from Dayton,  OH so that she could walk with us.   My friends and family showed up in full force.  My mom's cousin Troy even showed up out of the blue to support Team Madison Hope.  My friends and family got up early, brought their kids out, and walked in the hot sun and I am inspired.
We weren't the biggest team there but we did raise 3rd highest dollar amount. We weren't a corporate sponsored team like the other two top fundraisers.   We were an angel inspired team.  Inspired by one amazing little girl that never spoke a word during her time on Earth but changed lives and hearts wherever she went.  We raised over $5,000!  We did it!  You did it! I am humbled, honored and inspired by all the support we had.  I honestly can't put into words how exactly I feel so I won't try.    I'll simply end this blog post with a big THANK YOU even though that doesn't seem adequate enough.  

Wake Up Call

It's summer time and the little Rosebushes still like to get up early.  Sometimes they get up extra early and find amazing ways to  wake me up.  This was one of those days!

I was laying in my bed this morning presumably having sweet dreams.  I felt a little tug on the covers and the bed shift with the weight of another human.   In my sleepy haze I heard a tiny giggle and 2.5 seconds later a 28 pound bundle of crazy launched himself onto me and shouted "GOT YOU!"  I glanced at the clock which read 4:34.  I grumbled.  What on the world has him up at this ungodly hour?  I rolled over to look at him only to discover that the little spider monkey was COMPLETELY NAKED.  No pajamas.  No diaper.  No anything!   When he saw my face he smiled and said "I'm naked!"  He stood up to get in a few good bounces on my bed in all his naked glory.   I asked,  "Why are you naked?"  His simple response was "I peed."
Oh well that's a simple enough explanation. Hold on.... you peed?

What?

Where?

Oh for the love of Pete where did you pee?

Please don't let it be on my bed!

Sometimes when you say you peed you really mean you pooped.

Oh God please don't let it be poop.   Not at 4:34 AM.

Suddenly my sleepy haze was gone and was replaced with mom panic.   I sprang into action.  Literally!

I first examined the naked little person bouncing on my bed.  Whew, no sign of poop!  Now I just need to go on a search and rescue mission for the missing clothes and di aper.  I scanned my room and didn't see it so it must be in his room.

My sleepy feet hit the floor and down the hall I went.   I didn't get far before my toe hit a puddle on the hardwood.   I flipped on the hall light to find  a trail from his room to mine.  

I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and cleaned up the trail and continued to his room.  Right there in the middle of his bed was a peepee filled diaper and a pile of  wet pajamas.  

I guess he didn't like the wet diaper or clothes so he decides to handle the situation in his own two year old way.

I cleaned everything up and quickly diapered and clothed my little nudist.  Since his bed was wet I fixed his pillows the way he likes them and snuggled with him in my bed.  I put on some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and back to sleep we both drifted.    

Everyday is a new adventure in the Rosebush house.  I just wish they happened during normal business hours.  

Now I have to go wash some sheets....

Burning Questions.

It's finally summertime and in the Rosebush growing business it's a really exciting time.  The little Rosebushes thrive during summer.  Now that Mr. FixIt has finally sorted out the pool situation the Rosebushes can stay thoroughly watered.    A few days ago Emma and I were out by the pool and she was swimming.   I refused to get in the pool because it is still pretty cold but I sat on the deck and watched her.  As she was swimming she was pretending to be a mermaid.   She swam in circles.   She did belly flops and back flops.   She floated around.  She sang Little Mermaid songs.  I enjoyed watching my little mermaid play now that she is  getting big enough to swim on her own.  As she was swimming along like Ariel she had an interesting question,  that led to more questions and a very funny discussion.  

E - "Mom,  how do mermaids pee amd poop?"

Me - "Ummmmmm.... I'm not sure."

E- "They don't have a butt or a 'ba-china'. "

Me - "I know that."

E- "So do they pee through their tail?"

Me - "Em, I seriously have no clue.  I've never given it any thought."

E - "Do you think Google would know?"

Me - "Doubt it.  Mermaids aren't real you know. "

E - "Ummmmm, I don't know about that.   8 think you might be wrong. While we're on the subject of mermaids, how do they have babies?"

I started to worry where this conversation was going.

E - "I mean do they lay eggs like fish or do they get them out of their bellies like people? How would they get them out of their bellies anyway? "

Me - "Emma, honestly I DO NOT KNOW! I'm pretty sure mermaids are not real."

E - "Yes they are.  I've SEEN Ariel at Disney World.  I bet she could answer my questions."

It was clear to me that no matter what I said I was going to lose the argument.   Clearly my daughter thinks I'm an idiot.  Maybe she's right because I clearly don't know my mermaid anatomy or anything about their reproduction.

Me - "Perhaps she could Emma.  Next time we go to Disney you can ask her."

E - " I will.  So can we go to Disney soon?   I really need this cleared up."

I love how this kids mind works.   I feel like the whole thing was a ploy to ask about going to Disney World.   It's really important that we answer these burning questions.   So if you know anything about mermaid reproduction or urination please let me know.    

Backseat Conversations.

Today while going about my daily business with my little Rosebushes I overheard a conversation that warmed my heart and made me cry at the same time.   Today Emma's BFF Macie came home from school with us.  The girls played for awhile at the house and then decided they wanted to go to Orange Leaf.   They had been good so I agreed to take them along with Jaxon.  As I drove the girls sat in the backseat and chattered. They have the funniest conversations.  Today was the best one I've ever heard. I only picked up part of the conversation so I don't know how it started but this is where I really started listening:

Macie:  "I'm gonna meet Jesus one day."

Emma: "Me too, but we have to get to heaven first. "

Macie: "Yeah,  I wonder what it looks like there? "

Emma: "I don't know but I can't wait to get there and see my sister again.  I miss her."

Macie: "Oh that would be awesome.  Can I meet her too?"

Emma: "Ummmm....Yeah....you're my best friend and she'd love you.  She didn't walk or talk here, but mom says she can in heaven.  I really want to see that. I bet she likes walking and probably dancing.  I really miss her. Sometimes I forget what she looks like and I get sad"

Macie: "She could play with us and that would be fun. If she likes to dance we could all dance....In princess dresses. "

Emma: "I hope she remembers me.   I was littler when she died so I probably look different.  I'll have to introduce Jax because she never met him."

Macie: "He's kind of crazy I hope she likes him. "

Emma: "She probably won't but he is her brother so she'll have to.  Maybe he'll be better in heaven."

Unfortunately we arrived at Orange Leaf and the conversation ended. Luckily I had on sunglasses and neither girl could see the tears in my eyes.  I really wanted to hear more because it was a conversation filled with such innocence and hope.  Emma rarely talks to me about Maddie and I often wonder exactly how much she remembers about her.  I've wondered if she would remember her at all as she grew up.   I think today's conversation cleared some of that up for me.  Emma will always remember she has a sister.  The memories of her sister will likely always be trapped in a three year old state because that's how old she was when Maddie died. At just 5 years old I think Emma understand life, death, and heaven better than most adults.  I love that she shares these little snippets about her sister with her friends.  It's good to hear her talk about Maddie and even better to hear that she obviously talks so frequently about Maddie to her friends that they feel like they know her too.    
I needed that conversation today for so many reasons.  It meant a lot to me.  I didn't mention the conversation to Emma because secretly I hope to catch more conversations like that in the future.

The Pool Man

Many people who read this have been my Facebook friends for awhile and because of that they know that every summer the pool is a source of aggravation for me and comic relief for my friends.   This summer is shaping up to be like the summers prior.  Mr. Fix It, AKA Frederick,  seems to lack a lot of motivation this year and is moving at turtle speed.
The pool saga truly started about a month ago when Fred realized that the harsh winter had caused some damage to the pump and skimmer.   The extreme cold cracked the skimmer,  I suspect that was due to improper closing by Mr. Fix It but we're just going to leave that alone for now.  The skimmer and part of the pump needed to be replaced so Mr. Fix It spent hours over the course of weeks searching all over the internet for the correct parts.  Instead of jusr ordering them he wrote down part numbers and said he was going to check local pool stores.  I suggested that it might be a smarter use of time if he simply called the two pool stores nearest us and see if they carried what we needed.  Since efficency isn't really one of his strengths he scoffed at my suggestion.  He decided to wait until 4:00PM last Sunday and head out to the pool stores .  Shockingly when he arrived at one store they were closed because he didn't bother to check the hours.  When he arrived at the other they didn't even sell the brand of pool and pump that we own so naturally they couldn't help with parts.  So basically that was a complete waste of time that could have all been avoided if he had simply made a phone call but I'm not one to say "I told you so!"  Ok so maybe I am but he wouldn't listen anyway.  The next logical step would be to just ignore the pool while the temperature soared to near 90° last week.   That plan of action didn't really work for me so on Monday I drove him to the pool store myself and refused to leave until he went inside and purchased the things we needed.  He complied and we now had the $300 worth of parts to fix the pool.  Hooray!  I was thinking he could get right to work because he assured me that both pieces where easy to install.   Wishful thinking.  He waited until Tuesday afternoon at 3:00 in the afternoon to get started.  That is exactly 2.5 hours before he needed to leave for work and that time needed to include a shower.  Needless to say not much got accomplished that day because as I suspected neither piece was "easy to install".  I gently reminded him that rain was forecasted for the weekend so he needed to get the cover off before it filled back up with water.  Wednesday  afternoon was a little more productive and Mr. Fix It actually got the pump back in working order (This is still unproven however because it hasn't been turned on yet.  I'm just trying to be positive.)  Thursday came a and I was excited because I thought that finally the cover was coming off.  NOPE!   I was wrong.  He milled about outside near the pool for a bit but nothing seemed to be happening.   Again, I gently reminded him that they were pretty good at forecasting the weather these days and it was supposed to rain this weekend.  My words of warning were once again completely ignored and as predicted it rained on Friday,  Saturday,  and again today!  So now I have a swimming pool that is full of water that has a fully functional pump and filter, and still has a cover on it.  A cover that is now full of standing water AGAIN and cannot be removed until it's drained of its contents.   I can't be certain but I'm sure draining the cover will likely take another week of Mr. Fix It's time.  The pool may be open by June 1st.  MAY BE.  .  . Let's see how next week goes.

A Two Year Old At A Funeral

Today my dad's  side of family gathered to remember my uncle Bart.  It was a difficult day for a lot of people.   I thought seriously about not writing this post.  I thought that writing about my son at the funeral might be a little taboo.  But the more I thought about Jax the more I smiled and many of the people that read this blog were probably at that very same funeral and maybe they need to smile too.  I also thought about my uncle Bart and thought he would appreciate the antics of an antsy two year old boy in a quiet church.
I knew before I walked into that church today that Jax was going to be a handful.   You see, we are Baptists, and Baptists take their antsy kids to the nursery on Sunday mornings so my poor kid has no concept  of what it means to sit quietly in a church.   I walked into the church this morning, the church that my grandma used to drag me to when I was a kid, and I thought  "Oh Lord I'm gonna need the spirit of Lucille Stith to help me control this guy."  Jax immediately went to work touching everything in that old wooden pew.  Luckily for me my stepmom brought lots of candy for bribery and  a marker and paper set. That marker set entertained him for 2.5 seconds.   He quickly spotted my sister Gillian up in the front because she was singing and attempted to begin a rousing game of peekaboo.   Peekaboo from 20 feet away is not exactly quiet.   After Gillian quit playing Peekaboo with him; he discovered that the kneelers were perfect for climbing.   I'm sure in his mind this old Catholic Church was way cooler than our church.   They had things for climbing right in the pew, books to play with right there in the pew,  and it echoed slightly when you jumped up and down.   As soon as the music started and everyone stood he took the hymnal and pressed it against my face.   He also giggled and said "smash, smash! "  Now don't get me wrong,  I enjoyed getting my face smashed with a book but it was distracting to those around us. My stepmom took the opportunity to shove a lifesaver in his mouth.   That kept him quiet...for a minute.  He played around in the pew doing all the things that two year old boys do in church.  His body language started to say "stir crazy" so Grammy came to the rescue again.  She dug through her big ol' purse and found an ink pen!   Jax sat in my lap and decided to use that pen to draw designs on my right hand.  He scribbled all sorts of circles and lines until my hand was a true work of art.  When he decided that he was done being creative he found a place to put the pen.  He stuck his pen and his marker down my shirt.   He was being quiet and sort of good so I just sat there with two writing utensils sticking out of my shirt like they were growing out of my cleavage.  Soon he retrieved his pen and marker and sat down on the floor in front of our pew and went to work disassembling the pen.  Why?  I don't know,  because that's what boys do.    He continued to play  while my cousin spoke some very touching words about his father.  Like most everyone in that church it brought tears to my eyes.  Jax turned to me and noticed I was crying so he sweetly hugged my legs and said "love you momma".  I doubt anyone around us even noticed that tender little moment but it meant the world to me.  For a few moments he seemed to tone down his shenanigans but only for a few moments.  He sat in my lap while my cousin played a song on her violin that was so beautiful it moved everyone.  After that Jax went on about his business messing with stuff in the pew,  hitting his head multiple times, telling the little boy behind us to "go away" and basically just being a two year old.   At some point someone's cell phone rang and Jax put his hand to his ear and answered that pretend phone, "Hello? HELLO?"  I saw a smile crack on my dad's tear stained face and I knew that this busy, distracting,  crazy little curly haired boy was exactly where he needed to be. His mission for the day was to be a sweet distraction from the sadness and a reminder of some of the sweetest things in  life.
In everything in life there is beauty and even in this time of sadness there is something beautiful about a two year being a two year old at a funeral.  I'm sure my grandma, my Maddie and my uncle were looking down on that church today with a smile.
*I hope that this particular post makes you smile.  I ask that you continue to pray for my Uncle's wife and his children  as they have a lot of sorrow filled days ahead.  Pray for my Dad and all my aunts and uncles as they have lost a brother.  Pray for anyone that knew Bart that they may hold only fond memories in their heart.

Emma vs. The Mormons

Yesterday I decided to expand the minds of my growing little Rosebushes.   It was a rainy gross day so we went to the library.  I know you're probably laughing already because what could go wrong with my two kids at the library.   You just never know with my little Rosebushes.
As we entered the library I noticed a group of young gentlemen dressed in crisp white shirts, black pants,  black ties, and their Latter Day Saints  name tags.  Emma dropped her books in the book return and we headed back to the children's section.   I made the mistake of making eye contact and casually smiling at one of the young men.  That's when he decided that he was going to the opportunity to tell me about Jesus. Jax was about to lose his cool in the stroller so I honestly wasn't listening to what he was saying.   I was just about to politely cut him off when my little blond Rosebush piped up.
Emma - "Oh we already know about Jesus. I go to Children's church at Beechland Baptist so I'm good.   Thanks. "
She promptly turned and walked off to the children's section very matter of fact.    She took about five steps and turned to make sure  I was coming behind her and  continued on.
I wasn't sure what exactly I should say to the poor missionary guy who just got put in his place by a well spoken five year old. He honestly looked completely shocked that he'd been out "missionaried" by a preschooler.  I simply smiled, shrugged my shoulders, and followed Emma.  As we walked away Jax smiled his goofy smile, waved, and said "byyyeeeee".
Part of me was mortified that Emma would speak to a stranger so rudely.   The other part of me was astounded by what she said. After replaying the conversation in my head I realized that she wasn't intentionally being rude she was just very certain of something she already knew.  I was maybe just a little bit proud of her and A LOT thankful for the Children's Church at Beechland Baptist!   I guess she absorbs more than I realized.
I will let her handle all door to door Jehovah's witnesses too from now on.