Signs you're Raising Rosebushes

In the short time I have been staying at home with my kids I've come to the conclusion that they are certifiably crazy and determined to take me over the edge.  I feel like I have to say the most ridiculous things to my kids over and over again each day. Here are just a few examples of things that have come out of my mouth today.

-Please stop putting your toys in the oven.
-Jax, you cannot take off your pants in public.
-Do not stand, sit, climb on, or jump off of the coffee table.
-Play - doh is not for eating!
-Please only stick stickers on paper.   DO NOT stick them to the wall, the hardwood floor, the refrigerator,  the doors, or each other.
-Only clothes go into the washer.  DO NOT put barbies, balls, tractors or paper in there.
-Do not sit on the dog.
-Seriously Jax, keep your clothes on!
-Emma, STOP SINGING for 5 minutes please!
-Yes Emma, we will be brushing your hair today,  like we do everyday.  Yes really!
-Please DO NOT color on your face with markers.
-DO NOT EAT THINGS THAT YOU FIND ON THE FLOOR.
-OMG Jax, LEAVE YOUR DIAPER ON!

Sometimes I wonder if other parents have kids that fight over the most ridiculous things.  Today these are a few of the fights we've had.
-Emma trapped Jax in the bathroom because "he wouldn't stop bothering her."
-Jax decided to bite Emma because she took away the ipad.
-The kids had a shoving match over who was going to put away the clean silverware from the dishwasher.
-There was a brief tug o' war over who was going to wear the blue scarf.
-JUST STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER!

If you have found yourself saying any of the above phrases congratulations you may be raising Rosebushes as well.  
Last but not least if you have found yourself I'm any of the following situations you may indeed be raising Rosebushes and should seek professional help:
-You've found yourself arguing with a 5 year old about something you know is right and end up losing.
-You are driving down the road singing every word to One Direction and you look in the backseat and realize that both kids are sleeping. Hmm...Wonder how long they've been sleeping?
-You cook dinner while your son attempts to climb up you to get on the counter.
-You fall asleep on the couch at 10PM with a kid, an ipad, a laptop, and a check book in your lap.