Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Play Date

Raising Rosebushes is the winter is really rough.  It's so cold outside that the little Rosebushes have to stay couped up inside which drives us all crazy after awhile.   My BFF and I planned a play date today; more for our sanity than the kids but the kids enjoyed it too.  The plan was to meet at a restaurant with a play place so the kids could run off some steam.  Well you know my kids and public places so this was bound to be a spectacle from the out set.   My crazies and I arrived first and of course the first thing we had to do was visit the bathroom.   I swear Emma's goal in life is to visit every public bathroom in this hemisphere.   On the way to the restroom we happened to pass a very nice Customs and Border Patrol agent who was peacefully enjoying his lunch.  Emma saw his badge and gun on his uniform and that started the questions.   First the questions were directed at me but my answers proved to be unsatisfactory so she went directly to the source.  The poor guy was no longer going to eat in peace.  "Is that a real gun?"  "Do you have handcuffs? " "Have you used them?" "Do you chase bad guys?"  "Mom says if I'm bad you'll handcuff me.  Is that true?"  "What are you doing here?"   "Are there bad guys here?"  Luckily for me the guy was a good sport and answered all her questions with a smile.  He even helped me out and said that yes I was right and kids that don't behave do get in serious trouble. I apologized to him for the interruption and we moved on to let him finish his lunch alone.  We made it to the bathroom which is always fun because my daughter always insists on giving me a play by play of what she's doing in the stall.  Fortunately for the other girl in the bathroom this was only a pee trip. Emma made an announcement shortly after entering the stall that I shouldn't worry, it would be quick because she DID NOT have to poop.  I did hear a chuckle from the stranger in the other stall when Emma announced that she was "wiping her hootie" and would be done momentarily.  
Finally we made it out of the bathroom,  through the food line, and to a seat.  I thought we were safe.  That's when he walked in.  A man that Emma referred to as "John Deere Santa".  The man did resemble Santa a little in the fact that he had salt and pepper hair and a white beard.  He was wearing a LIMESTONE John Deere uniform (that's the same company that my dad works for), red suspenders, and a green and yellow John Deere toboggan.  Emma wanted to go speak to him but I said no.  We've already interrupted one man's lunch I thought that we had filled our quota.  You're welcome John Deere Santa.  I actually convinced her that John Deere Santa knew her Pappy and that if she or Jax misbehaved he would call Pappy and we'd all be in trouble. Surprisingly that actually worked and we finished the meal with our friends without incident.  THANK YOU JOHN DEERE SANTA!
We moved on to the play place.  My kids had a good time climbing,  sliding, running, and jumping.   It was great.  My daughter was the typical playground czar and tried to boss everyone around and no one listened.  The other kids were WILD and for once my children and my BFF 's children were the best behaved.  Honestly I think that a part of any sex education class for high school students should  include a trip to the local play place for a few hours.  No one who endures that chaos will ever want to procreate,  EVER!  Seriously it's that chaotic!
We bid our friends goodbye, visited the bathroom again complete with play by play, and headed home.  Another successful play date in the books.

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