Monday, January 20, 2014

The Sports Bra

When you're raising Rosebushes sometimes you have to go out to buy supplies and typically that involves the public.  Inevitably when you venture out with two kids in tow fun things are going to happen. Today I picked Emma up from school and headed to Target despite the fact that it was dangerously close to Jaxon's nap time. I only needed a few things so it would be a quick trip!  While in the store Emma asked if we could go look at leotards because she needed a new one for gymnastics.  Sure Emma, let just go look.  When we arrived in the very small leotard  section, Emma found a very pink, very sparkly, very small, sports bra and matching booty shorts.  This sports bra and tiny pair of shorts was in Emma's size so it was obviously meant for children. Emma decide that she didn't want a new leotard she wanted the hoochie gymnastics outfit.  This is the conversation that transpired:

Emma: "I want that one."
Me: "Well, that one isn't exactly appropriate for a five year old."
Emma: "Why not?"
Me: "Because you don't need to show off your belly or your butt cheeks."
Emma: "Other kids wear them.  I know cheerleaders wear them and I. AM. A. CHEERLEADER."
Me : "You're my cheerleader and you're not wearing it."

This is where the conversation takes a fun turn.  It also got louder and started to attract attention.  

Emma: "MOM!  It's fine I have a cute belly and a cute butt so what's the problem?"
Me : "Yes baby I know that all of you is cute but at five we don't need to show it off"
Emma: "Well I need a bra at least."
Me :  "Why?"
Emma: "So my boobs don't get big and floppy like yours!"  This statement was made at just a shade below a yell.  EVERYONE within a hundred yards heard it.
Me: "Uhhhh....what?'re still not getting it. You don't need a bra, period."
Emma: "FINE,  I guess my boobs will just grow floppy and I hope my belly doesn't get jiggly too."

Now I was probably a little red in the face and was definitely shaking my head. I look around to see no less than five women trying very hard not to laugh. Clearly the Rosebush spectacle at Target had made their day.  Could it get worse?  I look at Jax who was in the cart and notice that he has cleared the rack of the pink sparkly sports bras and he has every single one of them around his neck.  When I asked him what he was doing his response was to bat his eyes, smile sweetly, pat all of his newly aquired gymwear, and say "pretty boobs!"  That's when our audience couldn't hold in any longer and one lady actually laughed out loud.

I returned Jaxon's "pretty boobs" to the rack and did what every good mom does.  I politely waved to my audience,  asked if they enjoyed the show, and went on about my shopping (floppy boobs and all).

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