Am I doing this right?
In the Rosebush Raising business I often wonder if I'm doing this right. I mean sure the little Rosebushes are alive, clean, and fed. That's a big step in the right direction but am I raising them correctly. Am I doing every possible thing I can to make sure these tiny humans are growing up properly? I'm sure I'm like a lot of moms; I read all kinds of blogs and articles about all the "right" things to do for your kids. I've read a ton of stuff on a variety of subjects ranging from when and what to feed them to when, where, and how long they should sleep. I read about my Facebook friends and their children and sometimes have the mommy moment of panic when I think I am doing this all wrong. I know I'm not the only mom that has their moment of mommy guilt when I think I may be screwing up my kids. Here is what I have come to realize.
Mom guilt is insane! Why do women do this to themselves? Why do we feel like we need to compare ourselves to each other when it comes to raising our children? Now be honest ladies WE ALL DO IT! Now days it starts as soon as your kids come out of the womb. I've read an article online once that suggested that women who have given birth via c - section are somehow missing out on one of the joys of motherhood because they didn't push a kid out of their lady bits the natural way. I've had all three of my children cut out of my body by a skilled doctor and a scalpel and let me tell you I felt an amazing amount of joy when they brought my sweet babies to me. I'd didn't know it mattered how they got out only that they got out! I have never once thought I missed out on anything because of the way I gave birth but somewhere out there is a large group of women who feel like I am somehow less of a mother. Why in heavens name does that even matter? Once you get your kids into the world then how you feed them comes into question. Breast or Bottle? Which is best? Are you less of a mom if you chose bottle? I nursed Emma and Jax both for nearly a year and loved most every minute of it and my kids seemed to be healthy and growing well. It was a huge lifestyle choice and time commitment but so worth it for me. My two BFF's tried breastfeeding and it wasn't for them for various reasons. Is it my place to judge the type of mothers they are? NO, because it doesn't matter as long as your kid gets fed! Don't even get me started on the people who feel pressure to now make their kids baby food. It's great if you have time and enjoy it but please don't judge us moms that prefer those little glass jars from the grocery. IT DOES NOT MATTER! Ladies stop pressuring each other! It doesn't get better as they grow. You question how your kids sleep. When do they sleep? Do they sleep enough? What is sleep training? Do I do it? When do I feed them solid food? What do I feed them? What if my kid wants popcorn for breakfast? Is my kid smart enough? Are they smarter than so and so's kid? When do I potty train? How do I potty train? What if my kid isn't ready when others think he should be? All these questions can be mind numbing. I still rock my almost 2 year old to sleep every night and if he drags his blanket and pillow to my room at 2 AM I scoot over and let him in. I let him have popcorn for breakfast if that's what he wants once a week. I'll wait for him to be ready to pee pee like the big boys even if it takes awhile. Who cares if my kids are smarter than than so and so as long as they are meeting milestones appropriately. I will no longer feel guilty because of the choices I make with my kids.
This is my philosophy on my children. I want them to know every single day that they are loved, wanted, and cared about. I want them to be good little people with a little bit of sass. I've stopped comparing myself and my kids to other people and their kids. Guess what? There are lots of people that are better moms than me. There are lots of kids that are smarter, more talented, maybe even more attractive than my kids but I have stopped caring. I am no longer going to worry about the pressure society puts on me to be the "perfect mom". I encourage all moms to do the same. Instead of judging each other, encourage and celebrate each other as we all take on this difficult task of raising little people. Have fun with your kids. Spend your time being silly with them and making memories with them because to those tiny people you already are the perfect mom.